I have been…

Please note that this entry has been modified from the actual remarks I delivered at the Heel ‘n’ Wheel today. The names have been replaced by nicknames or initials to protect anonymity and privacy. I hope that, in reading this, you know who you are and how very much you mean to me…

I have been poked, I have been prodded, and I have been victim to the euphemisms of “pressure”, “pinch”, and “discomfort”.

I have been diagnosed, I have been labeled “patient”, and I have been contagious.

I have been cut and I have been sewn back together.

I have been infected, I have been disinfected, and I have been heartbroken.

I have been obstructed, I have been transfused, and I have been experimented upon.

I have been tired, I have been sore, and I have been unwilling to move.

I have been warmed, I have been cooled, and I have been washed and dried.

I have been ignored, I have been undermined, and I have been in tears.

I have been championed, I have been acknowledged and I have been comforted.

I have been sick, I have been in pain, and I have been sad. 

I have been frightened, I have been lonely, and I have been lost. 

But…

I have laughter, I have joy and I have family.

I have oatmeal cookies, I have sour keys and I have oxycontin.

I have Thith and Dad, Auntie A and Maytag. I have T&M, P&L. I have Uncle V, and the three K’s. I have N, T, N; I have H, M and E (and Sarah).  I have the Polack and the Gaspesian. I have J&J and Miss M; I have L&D. I have Chris squared and I have Garbage Name. I have J & W, J and Butchy; I have A, D, N, G, K and their families. I have the Timmins contingent; and my wonderful family from la belle province. I have Ms. Helen, Bauche and Goods; I have AEG (now R) and KR. I have my supporters from the Sault, Huntsville and Sudbury. I have all those who simply refer to me as “xxxx’s-sister.” I have J&P, S&D (&A), and J&D. I have Yeovil town and their offspring (and their offspring’s offspring). I have Ferns, Millertime and Chair-el.

I find strength in “Bear” and other survivors. I find sanctuary and understanding with Auntie A, and comfort in the lilac bushes in our backyard. I find solace in the poetry of my favourite music. I have memories; and in them I still have mom. 

And in all of this: I have hope. Thank you for giving me that. I love you and will never forget all that you have done to get me here today. I have hope, and I have tomorrow because I have you. And I hope you know that with all that I am, you have me, too.

(Thank you for such a great day! Pictures and stories to follow later this week…)